YAP ADVENTURESSSSSSSS RETURNSSSSSSSSSSSSS
4 months after the holiday.. and just a preview. BUT BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!--- 1 month ago --- ---
I never had wanted to be part of your world, nor did I ever belong in it. This is not something that I was unaware of. But I waded in, dipped my toes and yes, got to the point where I played with fire. It was exciting being part of your world for that while. Before I realised I needed to choose the right thing above novelty and thrill. And tonight, of all nights, I do not know quite how to feel.
I had withdrawn, we had marked out the line, we had both retreated somewhat back into our lives. But tonight, when I heard about it, there is a weird, dull ache. I dont know what to make of this kind of ache. Am I angry? Bitter? Confused? Indifferent? Does this affect me at all even? And should it? I dont really know.
The only thing I know is that now I really do not ever wish to part of your world again. It is not for me. It is all yours, you can have it. I pray so hard that I will never have to cross back into it ever again, and I pray so hard that we both take our separate turns, paths, routes to where we belong. I belong here and you do not belong anywhere near me. I want to say goodbye but it seems harsh. I just want to say, okay. Okay.--- 5 months ago --- ---
It’s been awhile since we chatted and I’m so glad we did. Talking about the past is weird. It is strange, beautiful, sad, cryptic, hollow and full all at the same time. I laugh and you laugh at the crazy things we did. All the ‘do you remembers’ and ‘i cant believe its been so longs’ and through the sentences and phrases I see you smiling and thinking about that same moment that I am thinking of. It is the most blessed thing to be able to come full circle like this.
Then we start talking about abstract things, about memory, about future, about life as we know it. And it starts to become us again, it starts to become who we were together, it starts to become why I fell in love with you and why you fell in love with me. And suddenly I am awashed with this sense of yes, yes this is why. It was then and it is not now, but this is why. We spoke soul to soul in this way and how I miss it. And for a sudden moment I am so happy and so sad at the same time that I burst into tears. Tears that have been unfamiliar till this moment, tears that I do not understand, just, tears.
We continue talking, and the conversation settles into something warm and familiar. Hello old friend, I miss you, I miss this, and thank you for being such an important part of my life and still being that, today.--- 7 months ago --- 2 notes ---
I know its been ages since I’ve updated and I rarely seem to anymore or at least, can’t find the time to, but this video, and this movie trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0b5jjS1zt4). It’s so very beautiful don’t you think.
I thought I should just record it down somewhere, even in the fleeting, non corner of cyberspace, to remind myself that I found this beautiful, one night, when the rain was pouring outside and my soul was rather still.--- 7 months ago --- ---
Of unrepentant sin that so easily entangles. That wraps around me and refuses to let go. That engulfs me in its wordly pleasures and senses that I become powerless and blind to what is Right, Pure and True.
This is my confession of my weak ability to cast it off, of my lack of strength against the Devil’s continuous attacks.
This is my declaration. Of dependence on the only One who can grant me sufficient strength, grace and forgiveness for me to lift my head and face the new day with His new mercies.
This is my acknowledgement that when your mind is not set on things above, then neither is your heart and neither is your will. You are what you expose yourself to. I must be foolish to think that I can prance around in the world, defenseless from the worldliness that accompanies it.
How do I remind myself that I am a child of God and this world offers Nothing for me? How do I hold fast to His promises that He washes us clean time after time after time, even after we knowingly run straight into that puddle of mud to soak ourselves in it again and again. Kicking and screaming and having so much fun but hating the stench and dirt that accompanies it later, longing for cleanliness so desperately. You cannot stay covered in mud.
I digress. This is my letter to the One who washes me with the Blood of the Lamb. I am not worthy to be forgiven and made right over and over. Yet this is the beauty of the cross and I will never understand it. I may hate myself to the core and yet the Cross extends its everlasting arms toward me and crowns me with its splendour. How can one make sense of this? I cannot. I can only come before Him and whisper my words of repentance which may come to mean nothing as my actions negate it the next day. But He understands. He Understands. And that is more than enough for me.--- 9 months ago --- 1 note ---
PROUD TO BE A YAP 4EVA.
--- 10 months ago --- 34 notes ---
seems half the work of weddings nowadays
is all about the asking. bigger better
bangs and bucks, and every suitor sets a
higher bar for better men to raise:
flash mobs and fireworks and fighter rides -
the shock and aww is how a bride computes
your manhood, though the snazziest of suits
will sink without a rock of proper size.
is there an issue of sincerity
if over coffee, talk turns by and by
towards the prospect of a hdb?
would it be disrespectable if i,
while at a hawker stall, drop to a knee,
and place a tissue packet on your thigh?
A part of: Sonnets From The Singlish, Poems by Joshua Ip
Yen-J 严爵 - 好的事情
So thanks to my ipad and amazing apps that let me stream shows woohoo I managed to finish an entire taiwanese drama - 醉後決定愛上你.
From it, I took away a few quotable quotes, AS I ALWAYS DO.
爱是一种遇见，不能等待，也没有准备。--- 11 months ago --- ---
PHOTO COURTESY OF TARNIA. My hair looks short but its not. ITS GROWING, REALLY IT IS!!!!!!--- 11 months ago --- ---
SUCH A LAZY COP OUT WAY OF BLOGGING.
Sorry, this will have to do for now *insert remorseful emoticon*
Let’s see, what have I been doing recently?
- Explored the most beautiful garden that is kept away from the public eye
- Got myself NEW AMAZING SMELLING SOAP from Soap & Glory (omg such a sucker for scents 4eva) CANT STOP SHOWERING NOW
- Yellow nails and UNICORN-IFIED my ipad to suit myself :>
- Went for a CUT RED TAPE course and kena arrowed to give the presentation for my table - my title was “OH HAY WE ARE DUCK TOURS” yes I kid you not.
- New arm candy, trying to be #21again
- Healthy lifestyle (attempts) with guavas, strawberries, yoghurt and home made sandwiches
- THEN GID CAME BACK FROM AMERIKA WITH A BOX FULL OF REESES AND SPOILT EVERYTHING HEALTHY ABOUT MY LIFE
- Crashed Cheryl’s condo just to use her pool to tan on a Saturday afternoon (hai cheryl. love you and your pool that is near my house that i can abuse)
- 8tracks app is da best thing evar
- SALTED CARAMEL ICE CREAM FROM THOMSON IS THE BEST THING EVAR. AFTER 8 TRACKS. OR BEFORE.
- Muay thai lessons woot woot
- MOST ANTICIPATED RECCE OF THE YEAR @ GBB hahahaha the day finally came :>
- Easy french manicure courtesy of Sephora nail strips
YEA, I just captioned almost all my instagram photos. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. Been a tiring week. Had dinner with Sherms on tues and then bumped into LOW XZ ahahahahhaha and almost coerced him into staying so he could send me home but that #FAILED.
Meanwhile, changes in this dysfunctional but endearing department lols our lives are always exciting. ALWAYS.--- 11 months ago --- ---
I’m sorry, self, I let you down tonight. It was not cool and it was not fun. Breaking a promise that you made to yourself is fundamentally more shameful than breaking a promise you made to someone else because the circumstances are within your control. NOT COOL. Dismiss, and push away.--- 11 months ago --- ---
The part of my life that may have been neatly folded away, but will always be a familiar, blinding spark.
--- 11 months ago --- 1 note ---
the hella wall
Non stop eating is my life plus I do not discriminate within cuisines HOW DO I GIVE UP FOOD YOU TELL ME--- 11 months ago --- ---